Birthday's are a strange thing. Every day a human being gets progressively older, and once every 365 days (or 366 - if it's a leap year!) we celebrate the year that has passed. Time, a man made creation used to describe what we know as life, is an interesting thing. I'm no scientist or academic genius, but I feel I'm not alone in over-thinking the concept of time. The planet on which we live is old, how old exactly is still up for debate... but the earth existed before me, and more than likely it'll exist when I go. The challenge I face in this thought is how exactly to make the time while I'm existing count. I don't believe I'll ever become an incredible doctor that just knows how to save lives. I don't think I'll become a fireman, pulling helpless people from a burning wreckage. I don't know if I'd have the patience or passion for law to assist in the acquittal of the innocent and incarceration of the guilty. These respected jobs don't suit me. I don't sit behind an instrument practicing for hours on end, I can't create music that changes lives, I simply don't know how - I'm sure I could learn, but it just doesn't seem... "me."
Yesterday I turned nineteen. It was weird even typing that. I've been living in this country for nineteen years, this house for thirteen and I've been out of school for almost two. I'm inevitably growing up, leaving behind childish ways and heading into the mature and grown up world of adulthood. But I don't want to do that because the natural way of human life is to be born, grow up, grow old and die. I refuse to settle for that. I just know that there's purpose in everything. And everyone. I can't shake this feeling of undeniable purpose on the people I know, and even myself. I see so much that can happen and I desire to help make it happen - not for myself but for the greater good of humans and for the glory of my Maker. As a nineteen year old, I don't want to fall into the pattern of working too much, studying too much or simply being too busy. I want to remember why I was created. I was created for people. To love people. To lead them, and be led by others. I'm designed for friendship. I desire that. My heart is to do the right thing by all people, and bring an energy of positivity and light wherever I go. I know that to change the world, it begins by being kind to just one person. I believe kindness has a ripple effect, and I pray that to be true.
There's something that bursts my bubble though. I'm not perfect. I can't always be bubbly and positive. I can't please everyone and no matter how hard I work there's always going to be something in my life that I need to work on - and I'm aware and okay with that. What I'm trying to do though, is improve myself with every day and continue to grow. I'm learning to not have expectation on people, so then I won't be let down by them. And I wish that people would do the same for me. Unfortunately though, as recent events have shown, everyone has an expectation of another person and you can't always come out a winner. But I'm trying. I'm working my best to be as good as I can be and bring as much positive light into my friendships as possible. So to those I have let down, I apologise. To those I am yet to let down, I apologise. Please join with me on my journey to help bring God's light to the world, and try not to hate me too much for the days when I stumble or fall short of your expectations. I'll try to remember to do the same.
"Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” Colossians 3:23
“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.” Ecclesiastes 9:10
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