I am a thinker. Or, maybe more accurately, I am an over thinker. I process everything through deep thought and "meditation" I suppose. I never want to come to an incorrect conclusion, and I never want to act without knowing the outcome first. Although, having said that, I also love spontaneity and adventure, so quite often my personality is a paradox. However, of late I've been thinking on the concept of love. What is it? Why do most popular movies, songs and books have love as a major theme? Why is the topic of marriage, and gay marriage absolutely everywhere we look? What is it about love that is so desirable, and why do we all want a part in it?
As a Christian, I think the answer is simple: God created us to love, and be loved. To recreate, to spread joy and happiness. He created us with the intention that we wouldn't stay alone - that we'd love Him, and love the others He created.
So I believe I am a being created for love. Previously I've mentioned that I believe I'm created for worship, and I definitely believe that they link in. To worship, for me, means to bring glory and honour to God. Therefore if I'm created to love, and I want to bring glory and honour to God, the best way to do that is to love... and attempt to do so unconditionally. Somehow though, this creates a bit of trouble in my mind. See although I'm ready and wanting to love anyone and everyone without condition, something in the way the world is today makes me think that maybe it's not safe. It's dangerous to love. People let you down, and it hurts. And that's true. Sometimes people do let you down, and sometimes they do things you don't expect, meaning the love and trust you've put into them feels betrayed and discarded. I don't want to live in that fear though.
I've grown up in a life where friends came and went quite quickly. I wasn't sure why they'd leave so eagerly, so I formed the belief that it was my fault. After reading this quote in Stasi Eldredge's book Captivating I sort of realised I wasn't the only one.... "What makes her journey so frustrating is that she isn't sure what is wrong with her. She simply fears that somehow she is not enough." and that's it! I fear that, always! I don't want to wake up one morning and find out that all my friends are gone, because that hurts. I think the thing that hurts me the most is having a friendship that I hold so dear and so close to my heart end. Whether it ends slowly, through circumstance or whatever - it hurts just the same. I don't place my trust easy, so when someone walks away with it, my heart is saddened.
However! There's hope through the sadness. God created me for love, so he created me to love and to be loved. So I know, regardless of whatever is happening in my life, there's a God that cares enough about me to love me unconditionally. It makes my heart sing. Through all days, through everything, I can rest in the knowledge that I am loved. And so are you! If only you knew! The friends that may leave, the people that may say nasty things - they're all wrong.... He loves you! Your heart, your mind, everything you do right and wrong, it's all loved by the one who made you. Nothing can take that away, ever.
My greatest hope is that I would live in a generation that raises the next to know how precious and loved they really are. Love is undying, and the most important thing on earth.
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