Success V Failure.

I'm a Uni student. I'm an employee. I'm a daughter. I'm a sister. I'm a friend. I'm a member of a church. I'm a youth leader. I'm a worshipper. I'm one of those people who pressures themselves into doing more than what is humanly possible.

So what is success? Is it personal satisfaction? Is it fulfilling the needs of others? Is it wealth? Is it good looks? Is it recognition from others? Is it fame? Is it having it all together? To be honest, I don't know. In my mind, for me to be successful I need to be able to work 40 hours a week, get distinctions on all of my assignments, be committed in all areas at church and complete all these tasks without batting an eyelash. But if we're being honest, that's unrealistic. There's not enough hours in the week to complete all of those tasks, to a high standard, whilst still maintaining a level head and a healthy amount of sleep every night. Currently, I'm meant to be preparing for my exams but I'm taking a few minutes to ease my mind and write down what's flooding my thoughts. I'm freaked out. I don't know if I know the content well enough to pass as I haven't been listening to enough of my lectures, and I have read all of the texts that have been assigned to me. Rookie. Move. Being honest, I don't know what I'm going to do. The idea of failure scares me. Repeating a semester that's costing me more money than I've had in my life is just terrifying.

So, what is success? Ps. Steven Furtick from Elevation Church in North Carolina put it like this: "Just because in your eyes something has failed, doesn't mean it didn't work exactly the way God intended it to." No, I don't want to fail the semester. However, I need to keep my eyes on the prize. I feel called to study what I'm studying, and I have no doubt that if I put in all the effort I possibly can, God will guide me and get me through it. Psalm 23 says He leads me by still waters, it says I'll never be in want. So even though my course is expensive, He's got it covered - whether I pass or fail the semester, He knows exactly where I need to go in life, and He's going to make sure I get there. All I need to do is remember that, and turn it all over to Him and trust Him with my whole heart.

I still haven't answered the question.

What. Is. Success.

Is there really a definition for success? (Yes, there is. Dictionary.com tells us that, in case you were wondering) But at the same time, while yeah there is a definitive answer for what success is, it doesn't actually tell anyone what personal success looks like. The dictionary is never, ever going to tell you what your success is. What I need to remember is that I can't please everyone, all the time. I need to remember what God has put on my heart and called me to. I need to remember that there's a purpose for everything, and all I can do is my best. God has defined my success. He has called me by name (Isaiah 43:1-4), He knows where I'm at.

Success, for me, looks like this:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6.

Trust. Submit. It'll all be okay.

(Failure isn't the end of the world, it's sometimes a necessary bump in the road to get you to success.)